FarFarAway遥远他方

ending

2009-07-01T20:40:00.002+08:00

I'm not too sure if I can call it a premonition? But the title of my last picture post seems to suggest it rather obviously that maybe it's time I should end my blogspot. I'm getting more frustrated with each failure in uploading my drawing. The feeling of incapability to do anything is just too much for me. Unable to share my drawing simply makes me feel handicapped. And so, I’ve decided to shift my attention to other platform. To all my friends, you are most welcomed to KF’s Drawing Room over at wordpress. I might need some time to get accustomed to the new platform, so please be patient with me.

不知是巧合，或是冥冥中注定？上一个图文题为“结束”，似乎早已预示了什么。从昨晚直到此刻，blogspot的技术问题不见改善。无法上载小图，令我懊恼非常。或许，与其空等下去，不如就此结束，另辟蹊径。我已在wordpress设了新空间，就叫“阿果豐画室”，从新开始，从零做起。有空请来坐坐。

can't

2009-07-01T08:27:00.002+08:00

Is it just me or everyone is facing the same problem? I can't upload any picture onto my blog since last night...

Keeping my fingers crossed.

结束

2009-06-28T13:00:00.004+08:00

明天开课了。校园短暂的清幽即将结束。学校不可能老是放假，开课才是常规，但我就是不正常。吵杂的校园，繁琐的职务，只会吞噬我的脑细胞。还得忍耐数个星期。

Today is the last day of the short term break; our campus will be back to its usual buzz and bustle very soon, like an orchestra of noise that goes haywire, as if the recent extremely hot weather is not torturing enough. How I’m going to miss the peace and serenity that filled every little corner of the campus in the past 2 weeks, with rays of morning sun quietly sieving through branches and leaves, caressing the emerald lawns where not a single soul of rowdy, unappreciative and insensitive teens is to be seen but only tiny grasshoppers and one or two occasional squirrels. I can forget about smooth traffic on my way to office, relaxing breakfast over a morning paper in the spacious canteen, and a library that is like a library.

PS: I can't help but keep wandering, is my stats counter painting a true picture? Are there really so many visitors hitting my blog everyday? Whoever you are, I hope whatever I've posted up here have done its part in making your day. Thanks for dropping by.

其实我挺怀疑，每天真的有那么多人点击我的部落格？谢谢你们的支持，希望我的作品，带给大家些许满足。

moonwalk

2009-06-26T11:30:00.000+08:00

This picture was not drawn especially for what I'm going to write or for him. As a matter of fact, I've done it weeks ago as a trail piece with no intention to post or share, the roughness and sketchiness says it quite obviously. It is all pure coincident that I find it a suitable illustration to complement my thoughts at this moment. The dancing moves, the huge moon, the larger-than –life look and the background of a fairytale land, though at time of drawing I’d no story to it, but now it all seem to reflect that particular figure that created his Never-land. I’m never a frantic fan of his, not even an ordinary one. Of course, I’m aware of his existence and have heard of his songs and seen his dancing on MTV. Who doesn’t? The news of MJ’s death which I heard this morning did not shock me that much, instead it brought about a tinge of sadness for to me, it spells the gradual end of a generation, the generation that grew up in the 70s and 80s. It’s an indication that another piece of our youth is gone forever, vanished into the thin air, never to be retrieved. How much time have we left? Once we thought we had plenty, in fact we used to have so much of it that time was never an issue at all. But now, it seems time can just end anytime on us, we are no longer at the beginning of our journey, how much further will we go or can we travel, no one knows. Only time will decide.

到月球上漫步，在皎月下劲舞，当一切成了过往，才发觉青春已逝，时间如手中流沙，指缝间滴漏。小图是先前习作，本无意发表，然发觉与此时心情相符，尚可勉强可用之。今早听闻MJ猝死的消息，并无太大反应，仅有一丝忧伤。我非MJ歌迷，不为他痴狂，但在我成长岁月中，他是时代不可抹杀的代表。他的辞世，无形中意味一个时代的结束。我们这一代，离青春渐远，可挥霍的光阴无几。当我们必须认老时，那个过程是悄然而至的，不动声色就夺走青春；当我们还眷念曾经的流行时，那流行已流逝殆尽。我们被时间推着走，不知还可走多远多久；我们被时间推着走，真的是，蓦然回首早已白了头。

waltz

2009-06-25T08:02:00.005+08:00

Waltz in the woods

In a late summer

In soft silence

晚夏的林木

寂静如歌

翩翩华尔兹

ps: By the time I'm at Cambridge, I'll be experiencing the very first autumn in my life. On a golden meadow, under fallen leaves, while squirrels hurry among the woods collecting nuts for winter, I shall dance a one-man waltz.

boar

2009-06-22T15:20:00.000+08:00

How unusual is my pet?

Not a pig that eats and sleeps

He's a wild boar extremely fit

Never seems to put on weight

Never fails to look so great!

我家宠物多奇特？

不是痴肥大懒猪

能跑能跳能吃苦

带他出去最苦恼

他在前头牵我跑！

Garden

2009-06-21T15:00:00.001+08:00

Let's prepare a garden, shall we?

A lovely little garden, with shady trees and pretty flowers

And carpeted with grass as soft as feathers

Let’s invite some butterflies and tiny beetles

Not forgetting those songbirds

Singing like angelic choir

I’ll prepare tea, or would you like coffee?

How about some freshly-baked breads and tasty pastries?

Once everything is ready, my friends

You’ll be the first to grace my garden

On a peaceful sunny afternoon

Upon my sincere invitation

法国插画家柏德芳Marc Boutavant作品让人爱不释手，艳丽的色彩勾勒的角色天真烂漫，既有女孩的纤细，又不缺男孩的调皮，简直百看不厌，犹如奇娃娃，看在眼里就打从心里忍不住会心一笑。临摹他的风格草草完成这幅小图，只因他令我折服。插画家我欣赏的不少，但真正能让我惊艳的，没几个。
搞艺术的或多或少都得要有一点的自负。要有傲，更要有骨。凡胎俗骨看不在眼里，但真正的上品，则要懂得鉴赏。缺乏傲气的艺术家，唯唯诺诺，最多只是个匠，缺乏灵魂，成不了仙。
我写中文行云流水，容易进入逍遥之境。虽并非字字珠玑，但也颇具信心，毫无挂碍。书写英文，则是困难重重，往往如同隔靴搔痒，表达不够尽兴。正因如此，活到这个年纪，反而更想将英语驾驭。自小英语弱，信心备受打击，全为新加坡特殊政策环境使然，很是畸形。中文强是我本分，不足为奇；敢于挑战对英文长期的阴影，我视为当前的努力。
在You-tube看台湾时事节目，以胡适、梁启超、林语堂等人20岁的关键期看历史，说：20岁的抱负决定未来人生的高度。我不大记得20岁自己在梦想什么？更不晓得今生要达到什么高度。快迈向40的人生，对务实的政府而言，已过巅峰；但对我而言，那才是开始。
同样在You-tube看台湾纪录片，听到这样一句话：没有什么事是来不及做的。
不久前备好portfolio与自荐信申请英国大学，课程教授一看到我的作品，二话不说立即入取，整个过程不过一个多星期；同一份portfolio寄交某发展局申请奖学金，却石沉大海。原来生我养我的这块土，非我伯乐。
中四完成AEP后，志向转向中文发展，而今兜了一大圈，又回到美术追求。没有什么事是来不及做的，我两袖清风，现在就要去做了。
9月，Cambridge School of Art，我去寻找自己童书绘画的高度。

nature

2009-06-19T08:33:00.003+08:00

少一些虚拟假相，多一点真实自然

a little less virtual indulgence, a little more nature appreciation

Often than not, most of my illustration ideas were rather accidental creations. Meaning to say, starting off with a careful thought out storyline is seldom, not really never, my style of working; instead I would doodle aimlessly on my tablet, with no definite intention or specific direction, hoping to capture along the way something interesting that can ring a bell, strike an idea, stir up inspirations; maybe a potential character at a certain point of time doing a certain act, it needs not be something out of this world, it just got to have the right formula to form a scene that is intriguing, that can trigger imagination or snowball into something big. To put it simply, I draw than I rationalise. I rationalise by giving a story to the drawing, and maybe from there, develop into a picturebook idea. This is how “Less is More” was created, so were “My Unusual Pet”, “Shades of Loneliness” and even my earlier works of “蓝大兔” and “我没空”.

I don’t have anything concrete for “Less is More” yet, but just a sketchy, rough concept. I’m now slowly seeing my blog as a scrapbook, collecting all the ideas that flash across my mind, hoping one day some of the ideas would bloom into something that enthral.

Ant

2009-06-18T14:00:00.000+08:00

How unusual is my pet?

Such a tiny little dot

Hiding happily round the clock

Finding it is such a chore

Just when you're about to give up

Out it crawls

我家宠物多奇特？

小小一点这么大个

东躲西藏真难测

刻意寻找找不得

正要放弃

它反而出现了

少多

2009-06-16T15:48:00.005+08:00

少一些笔触，多一缕余韵

少一点色泽，多一抹淡雅

少一些实在，多一份朦胧

Less is more.

纯属游戏之作。

goes on

2009-06-15T15:30:00.000+08:00

骨头硬了，弯不动身子

亮丽的棒棒糖是甜滋滋的回忆

就在不远处

却碰不着了

My friends asked had I gotten over with my anger and depression and I answered more or less yes. I would not say I do not harbour anymore negative feelings towards the unfair treatment but I am very sure my mood at this very moment is feeling more hopeful than hateful for I am still going forward after a meaningful purpose and nothing, even without the help of the authority, can dampen my spirit or put a stop to it. I was watching a Taiwan documentary on you-tube which featured the story of a certain young lady who, most unfortunately, suffered from very serious burn covering almost 70% of her body. Though she managed to escape death but for the past 3 years, she had to learn to live with her almost-fatal injury and permanent facial disfigurement, not to mention the collapse of a successful life she took years to build. She pulled through with lots of courage and of course optimism. There are people who dwell on negative thoughts once faced with setbacks, get themselves forever trapped and thus end their lives most likely in bleak sorrows. And there are others who are wise enough to accept reality and with acceptance they free themselves from the viscous cycle of endless suffering. There is no guarantee a smooth sailing in life for anyone, setbacks and reverses of different magnitude sadly to say are unavoidable. We can’t determine our fate but we can definitely alter our attitude towards life. I like the little story that lady related in the documentary. She said once her mother broke a cup and was brooding over such a trivial incident day in and out, so she told her mother: nothing is forever, all things has to come to an end eventually. Why become upset over a broken cup? It is not worth it at all to have one’s mood adversely affected by something so insignificant. In fact, nothing is of any significance so long you are able to let it go. To feel bad initially is natural, but allowing the bad feeling to cling on or worst, drag on for days and months and years would be quite foolish.

Life still goes on no matter what happens, and to be exact, in one definite direction and that is, forward. If we are to put it rather ominously, we are actually dying a little by a little every moment of our life, we age, and we deteriorate, and sooner or later we would reach a point whereby we would have to leave all things behind, be it glories, pride, regrets or agonies. As long as we are alive, we have to look forward; life is not that difficult, it’s just as simple as that.

awake

2009-06-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

Summer greens

in their sleep

awake their dreams

青青盛夏

他们睡了

梦却醒了

porcupine

2009-06-11T08:03:00.000+08:00

How unusual is my pet?

You can’t hug you can’t pat

You can’t touch it like the rest

Dressed to kill in spiky quills

Love to poke fun till you get mad!

我家宠物多奇特？

穿戴一身夸张的刺

大摇大摆真放肆

不让抱来不让疼

一不高兴就耍性子

发泄

2009-06-10T12:11:00.002+08:00

我是剑客小红兔

谁敢挡我路

无耻之徒

给我站住！

I'm swords-man Bunny Rouge

Stop right there

You shameless fool

Don't you dare move!

昨天一时火大，胡乱画了无名侠客，轻功绝顶，怒目江湖。后来灵机一动，若给侠客绑上头巾，其实还挺象只小红兔的。

江湖卧虎藏龙，之前已有怪侠一枝梅，多个剑客小红兔，有何不可？

火

2009-06-09T13:20:00.002+08:00

满肚子火

但火了一阵子之后

又不火了

my friend said I was not shortlisted due to my age, it's pointless for the authority to spend time and money nurturing someone no longer in his twenties or early thirties. It make no sense from an investment point of view. Moreover the category I opt is not as high profile as animation or film making. Given my academic credential and creative talents, I see no reasons why I was not even given a chance for interview. If my friend was correct, then I could only say I'm utterly disgusted with the authority for its hidden agenda and different forms of discrimination.

我甚少表露自负

但我必须强调：我有条件自负

弃这等人才不顾，只能怪当局走宝

有关当局，目光如豆

ok, back to my normal self, no longer pissed off.

丧

2009-06-08T18:00:00.002+08:00

Pisces feeds on depression.

I'm depressed, sort of, and I think it's natural since I'm a pisces--I'm just more prone to mood indulgence that's all; I'll definitely get over it I know, just a matter of how soon. Drawing this little picture does help I suppose. A fish out of water, a rough sea, a helpless face. My unsettled feeling seems to get iron out with every stroke of the brush; just like meditation, drawing helps me to keep focus. A focused mind is what I need now.

沮丧，来袭。

我早已习惯自己时而莫名其妙的情绪低潮。仿佛脱水的鱼，咧嘴成了干尸。无助的脸孔，纵使有心搭救，亦是无能为力。天地汹涌暗潮。过于在乎，难免连带失落。更或是，我不服气的自负，让我难咽一口闷气。让心静，方能通明。草草画此小图，重拾自信，让心随每一笔的梳理，回归平静。

spider

2009-06-07T07:07:00.000+08:00

How unusual is my pet?

Creepy crawly tip a tap

Dancing round and round in frantic moves

never fails to liven up my mood

我家宠物多奇特？

踢踢踏踏爱跳舞

一圈一圈停不住

七手八脚花蜘蛛

偶然

2009-06-05T17:26:00.000+08:00

偶然云一朵

悄悄牵走

蒲公英的梦

a passing cloud

accidentally awakens the dream of

a dandelion

This was an accidental piece. I was exploring other tools in my software, to get a hang of the other media available besides my usual preference. It all started without any concrete idea or subject, I was merely playing around with shapes and colours. First it was the row of purple patches which rather naturally formed the roofs of some simple cottages. With the cottages came the prairie and was followed by the deep blue sky. To complement the sky, a cloud was added, not too many but just one; enough to enthral, to arouse interest and to tell a story, almost like a touch of Zen. However, there was still something lacking in the composition, a focus that could anchor the whole picture, echo the lonesome cloud and complete the story. I found the answer in a simple dandelion, in full bloom pure and bright, almost ready to take flight, to follow suit the trail of the wandering cloud, embarking on a pilgrimage of its dream.

The drawing was done on a single layer.

voyage

2009-06-04T09:45:00.000+08:00

Her pleated hair twirls as inspiration wanders into the unknown realm where poetries thrive; as if in a trance, she stands there frozen while her thoughts drift and dance in a sea of possibilities. All she can do is to wait for inspiration to turn into dewdrops and fall nicely from the pencil tip onto the white paper. She is a poet on maiden voyage.

麻花辫子随灵感飞舞，在诗的领域恣意徜徉。坠入忘我境界，任凭思潮汹涌，在笔尖化作点点露珠，滴落纸上，满纸的湿。她于是踏上诗的处女航。

t-rex

2009-06-03T08:09:00.000+08:00

How unusual is my pet?

Others think it's just a lizard

crawling around creating hazard

But to me, it's a T-rex!

我家宠物多奇特？

他人眼中一条虫

一无是处乱跑动

我却把它当暴龙

Butterfly

2009-06-01T08:33:00.000+08:00

How unusual is my pet?

Colourful wings like fluttering petals

If butterflies is the answer

then you're correct!

我家宠物多奇特？

两片彩翼一开一合

有如花朵在唱歌

满天飞舞真快乐

elephant

2009-05-30T10:03:00.000+08:00

How unusual is my pet?

A baby elephant round and fat

Purple in colour to be exact

我家宠物多奇特？

长长的鼻子大大的耳

从头到脚皆紫色

ending 4:alright

2009-05-28T08:33:00.000+08:00

It's perfectly alright to be alone, just don't lose yourself.

就算只剩自己，也不可失去自我。

ending3:draw

2009-05-27T08:33:00.000+08:00

And thus I draw, to complete what's missing, for I know...

于是拿出画笔，填补该有的构图，只因……

ending2: missing

2009-05-26T08:33:00.001+08:00

As I turn around, I notice something's missing...

回身，才发觉少了什么……

ending 1

2009-05-25T07:16:00.003+08:00

PS: I've wanted to draw this for quite some times, a sequence of action that represents how the "shades of loneliness" series should end. But yet this does not necessary indicate the ending of the story. You see, loneliness is a feeling so universal and so omnipresent; its depiction through drawing can be never-ending. However, I still prefer to confirm how the story should close so I would at least know exactly where I'm heading. The drawings posted today and to be posted in the days to come will summarise my thoughts on the issue.

OVB

2009-05-21T14:56:00.009+08:00

The Fantastic Four behind the Chinese portal "OurVoicebox" helmed by students from NP School of Humanities. Introducing Big Ben the undisputed all "rounder"; Geisha the photoshop expert; Black Stockings the woman in-charged and Bamboo who cannot be anymore taller.

义安中文系学生网页OVB幕后团队四大天王：肥编（中文系最大颗的开心果，吃了当心哽死你）；艺妓（万能网页排版设计高手，不可小觑）；黑丝袜（中国通史是她的必杀技，之所以越来越妩媚，原来藏有神秘黑丝袜）；还有金“珠”（细细长长如修竹，矮个子眼中的巴黎铁塔）。

四人帮苦心孤诣，只为让OVB能薪火相传，阿果无力相助，唯借此空间，代为宣传。

OVB，等着大家！

圈圈

2009-05-21T08:30:00.000+08:00

一圈又一圈

无瑕童梦

趁妹妹入眠时

蔓延绽放

In the purest slumber land

all dreams twirl and swirl

and bloom and balloon

while she's asleep

维持学生网页的毕业生找我谈，问该如何刺激点击率。他们4人还得坚持一个多月，才能将棒子交托中国浸濡归来的三年级生。4人忙不过来，能做的有限，当然也有自己的想法。本来要求老师轮流给网页供稿。我自己的blog都已经甚少更新，要额外写新文字，确有些困难。无论如何，他们要我link他们的网页，那就请诸位有空，不妨多到ovb 坐坐吧！

thousands

2009-05-18T09:13:00.000+08:00

"It's so quiet up here."

Up upon a hilltop under those sturdy branches of an old camphor tree, thousands year of age, with bark engraved in deep burrows and distinct grains, like stripes of meandering rivers congealed into fossils of time, that was where she would spin her own never-ending fairytales.

Sometimes she would sing or sometimes recite a poem in sync to the rhythm of her swinging. Not an audience by her side, just the old camphor tree or the occasional breeze rubbing gently against the leaves and the branches and her hair.

她享受这天地的宁静。

老香樟树以上千载的沉稳为她架起飞扬的秋千。一荡一漾之间来回编织永无止境的美丽童话。偶尔哼支小曲，偶尔吟首小诗，偶尔吹来阵阵清风，撩起她的短发，穿过枝叶，仿佛送来掌声。

抵御

2009-05-11T20:09:00.002+08:00

冷

Aloof

亲

Approachable

——————————————————

I normally need much more time than others to warm up to strangers. I hate limelight and would rather dissolve secretively into some dark corners all by myself. To mingle around over tea reception is never my cup of tea, regardless of how heavy a tea-drinker I am. And due to the fact that I look intensely aloof when I don’t smile (well, I can’t be blame for I’m born that way), many find me unapproachable which I don’t really care in fact. However, once I’m warmed up to someone, that’s when my true colours shine. The publisher and the writer for the new book wanted me to create a guru figure that was more caring and approachable instead. So I just added a stroke to the original drawing to soften the aloofness. I think it works. A simple smile would do the trick; I take that as a truth.

中文系第二届学生今早毕业，典礼之后的招待会上，和学生们亲切合照。当时初到学院执教，由于和学生尚未混熟，总是不习惯合影，而偏偏年轻人特别喜欢照相，我一面对镜头就会不自然。我需要更多的时间来和生人亲近。这并不表示我不友善，纯粹性格问题。私底下，我还挺无聊搞笑的。我严肃的外表，只是方便我“抵御”不必要的搭讪，基本上我就是懒得应酬。

秘籍

2009-05-11T11:03:00.004+08:00

周末花了一些时间，帮出版社一本有关金融投资的新书，画了几幅简单的插图。编辑的要求，创造类似张三丰武林智者的角色，传授理财投资秘籍。新书分几个章节，每章主题皆与武功有关，包括铁砂掌、心经、太极，相当有趣。虽然开始感觉有点模糊，毕竟不曾画过这类主题，但完成后，觉得挺好玩的。彩色的图为封面建议。

These are some of the illustrations I've done over the weekend. They are meant not for any children’s stories but an investment 101 sort-of guidebook. The publisher requested for a martial arts guru as the main character, a wise man figure imparting readers with the secret recipes for tackling financial issues. The writer uses quite a bit of well-known martial arts’ concepts as the theme for each chapter, such as “Iron Palm” “Tai-ji” and “Meditation”. The original character I’ve drawn turned out to be, according to the publisher, too much of the “comical” side. Uploaded here are the revised drawings, not approved by the publisher yet but hopefully no drastic amendment will be required. The colour version is the proposed design for the cover.

random

2009-05-09T22:22:00.002+08:00

纷乱的柳在风中是捉摸不定的水袖，仿佛舞出，婆娑的真实

The dancing willows in random moves, tracing as if what the wind whispers, the universal truth

Wishing all a meaningfulVesak Day卫塞节快乐

sanity

2009-05-08T11:39:00.002+08:00

在整整三十分钟里，他们没有任何言语交流。就是彼此默默坐着，靠得很近。

生命在静默中进行着。

静默，仿佛一首幽微的歌。

Sometimes it just seems so hard to write or to draw anymore, when the mood for anything aesthetic or delicate or tenuous or subtle is lost amidst all things mundane. That’s the dilemma we are facing, to live life or to live the life we want. When bread and butter can no longer satisfy and rationalise our very existence in this world, we naturally turn to other means to actualise ourselves. But the quest for self actualisation can never be done without bread and butter; it’s a luxury in most societies, especially ours, never a necessity. No one can stop you to be a dreamer, but you know very well, even dreams can only be weaved, in the most ironical sense, realistically.

I have not been able to keep my mind calm ever since the start of school term. A disturbed mind is like a pond wrinkled with troubled water, slashing reality into a reflection of chaotic fragments, sapping away my energy and hunger for any creative pursue. I dislike such feeling but unfortunately such is the way people like us have to live. But I know, if I do not force myself from time to time to reflect upon my inner thoughts through words or drawings, I will be lost forever in the labyrinth of reality, leading to the dead of one’s conscious mind. That’s the only way to preserve my sanity.

闷

2009-05-01T15:13:00.003+08:00

I'm BORED... 怎一个闷字了得？

有时候，就是突然会感觉很闷的。不必任何的理由。

return

2009-04-29T10:16:00.000+08:00

There's no one, afterall...

毕竟还是，自己一人……

这组图之前就画好了，但一直想不到该配上什么文字。那天忽而想着，我们年纪愈来愈大，却可能离自己愈来愈远。忘了当初自己的想法，忘了当初自己的喜乐，忘了当初自己的最爱，望了当初自己是谁。难道不是？当我们一心只想活得像众人时，我们获得了安全感，也得到了认同感，却不幸地失去了自我。Are you brave enough to return to yourself?

forgotten

2009-04-26T22:22:00.002+08:00

This is dedicated to anyone who still firmly cherishes the little kid in he or she, hibernating it might be but still alive and breathing at least, like baby breath or candle light, frail and forgotten. I was at a Picture Book seminar yesterday; one of the speakers Sally Rippin( an Australian Children’s Book writer/illustrator) did a wonderful job. It was inspirational listening to her and there is something in her speech that really strikes a chord. As a kid, we were great at expressing ourselves, we used to sing loudly, out of tune maybe but that did not stop us from enjoying singing; we used to dance wildly, for no particular reason most of the time, we just moved our body to the rhythm of happiness; we used to draw and scribble practically on any surfaces we could reach, be it the floor, the wall or the kitchen cabinet, we drew the sun, the star, the tree, the 5-petal flower and of course matchstick boy and girl, the whole world was then our drawing paper. We used to have endless burst of creativity, we were natural born artists in a way and no one could deny that. But strange enough, as we grew older, most of us just simply gave up the passport to creative freedom and stopped enjoying the fun. Why is this so? Have you ever asked yourself this question: why have I stopped drawing or singing or dancing or making handicrafts such as a birthday card like I used to? Does one have to be gifted in order to engage in such creative doing? I definitely do not think so. It’s not a question of whether you can but more whether you want to. We can all draw, that is something I strongly believe in.

rain

2009-04-24T20:44:00.003+08:00

Spare me some rain PLEASE!!!

I can really sense my little grey cells boiling in my head, turning and swirling and spinning like never-ending whirlpool. Why must it be so hot these few days? When will such heat ever come to an end? The scorching sun, killing every single droplet of possible vapour and snatching every single blow of cooling breeze, leaves all corners with nothing but blatant shameless heat.

老天若还不尽快来场痛快好雨，奄奄一息的将不只是四周草木，我脑袋瓜里所剩无几的创作细胞，也必将枯竭。这种鬼天气，烧得我的身体如同火炉，热滚滚的，连带灵感都烧成烟烧成灰烧成尸骨无存。老天到底怎么了？！

wind

2009-04-24T08:38:00.000+08:00

Still no wind. 风在哪里？

我快热昏了。精力被蒸发了。灵感已没气了。创作的动力中断了。

手中的风筝，飞不起来。

song

2009-04-23T07:19:00.001+08:00

Even the loudest

Drumbeats

When silence becomes too

Dense

Got drowned

And muted the cry

The cry for a

Song

在彻底的寂静里

呐喊无声

用力敲打着鼓

也难以击碎

窒息的壁垒

成了失去旋律的歌

流荡

warmth

2009-04-20T21:15:00.000+08:00

The only warmth you feel

Comes from the

Handshake

With yourself

留一点温度

给自己

在极端的静寂中

你与身影

不离不弃

I think I'm suffering from Demophobia, or to use an even more bombastic term if that's not scary enough-- Enochiophobia. Well, it definitely means I'm having a certain type of phobia, but what could that be exactly? To put it more simply, I'm having a fear of crowd. I'll feel uneasy and insecure and even suffocating whenever I need to squeeze my way through a huge crowd and a place flooded with strangers just give me terrible headache. I hate crowded place, the ear-piercing noise, the mind-numbing shadows, the unbearable heat of human bodies shuffling and rubbing against one another, I would definitely blank out if don’t find my way out in time. That’s why I dislike new school term, when the whole campus is over-run by energetic students, and the quiet air-con foodcourt which used to be my favourite hangout is brutally turned into a wet market, flooded with saliva and sweat. But what can I do? This is only the very first day of the semester, there’re still 4 more months to go before the next long break.

But it’s not surprising that I’m having crowd phobia. Come to think of it, it’s no wonder that most of my illustrations seldom feature more than a lonesome soul. I think that’s the real me, I’ve subconsciously expressed my yielding in my drawings, or even my words. Seriously, I would rather embrace my own shadow than to be drowned in a sea of strangers.

trumpet

2009-04-19T12:53:00.003+08:00

Just a fun piece, nothing significant behind it. But was wondering while creating the drawing, if a boy who simply loves trumpetting was down with a cold and had to put on a mask , that means he could not enjoy his trumpet anymore at least for that few days, what would he have done with his toy trumpet then?

New school term starting tomorrow, would not have that much time and freedom for drawing and scribbling anymore.

纯属游戏之作。一时不知该画些什么，一边胡乱涂鸦，一边想如何让小图说故事。最后还是没有故事可述。只是好奇，戴上口罩的小男孩，手中又拿着小喇叭，是不是有点荒谬？由于感冒只好戴口罩，戴了口罩就意味无法吹喇叭，那又何必拿喇叭呢？也许他天生就喜欢喇叭，虽然他的喇叭每天吵死左邻右舍，但他还是喜欢吹喇叭。他生病那几天，一切安宁，不晓得邻居会反过来怀念那聒噪的喇叭乐曲吗？

again

2009-04-17T11:38:00.005+08:00

I’m very Chinese at heart; I mean I would think, speak and write spontaneously in Chinese without doubt if given a chance. And I’m glad with that, in fact I’m glad that I have found at least one language for self-expression. Not all people have that. Many, though bilingual, but when comes to writing, found themselves lost with words. I might not be as expressive in English, but at least I try. Being Chinese at heart, I’m deeply influenced by Buddhist culture, thus I’m a believer in fate. Fate composes beautiful stories in life, especially at the most unexpected juncture; it springs wonderful surprises that warm one’s heart. I received an email this morning from a long-lost AEP classmate all the way from UK. For 20 odd years we have not met and never in my mind had I ever thought or tried to get in touch with him again. That’s the usual case; friends just come and go, like fleeting wind, vanishing into the thin air. Ironically, small Singapore might be physically, we are like specks of dust being blown aimlessly on this tiny plot of land, but the probability of us meeting again can be just as small or even smaller. If not for the application I’ve sent weeks ago and coincidentally that my friend happens to be at the exact institution I’m applying, we might not be getting in touch again at all for life.

This entry is for all whose life has crossed path with mine in one way or another; I might not have exactly known or met you before, but I’m sure we are predestined to be acquaintance. Thanks for sharing my passion and pursue in illustration all these while. And thanks to fate which has brought us all together on this little dreamland of mine farfaraway.

PS：the attached drawing is a trail digital collage I did earlier. Though not meant specifically for this blog entry, but it does subconciously depict my quest for a dreamland, maybe far far away.

endless

2009-04-17T09:06:00.001+08:00

Like withered leaves

Losing your grip

And dropping into an endless

To where shadow resides

感觉不着重量

听任引力的牵引

至少那是个方向

往

下

贴

近

逐渐清晰的

影

empty

2009-04-16T10:03:00.003+08:00

On a wooden bench

Under those empty branches

You sat on one side

Leaving the other

For yourself

长长的木凳

两端的距离

你在一隅独坐

留个位置

给空虚

Drift

2009-04-14T11:39:00.005+08:00

Lift a petal

from the book of

Poetry

and drift along

the sliver-lining of

impossible dream

撷一片花的翅膀

在纯净的诗里翱翔

沿不可思议的轨迹

找回梦的曙光

wilderness

2009-04-12T21:08:00.003+08:00

The full moon

pressing down onto

a wilderness of

entangled thoughts

一轮明月

载不动万缕思绪

倾泻而成

剪不断遍野凄清

房子

2009-04-10T11:23:00.001+08:00

为下一期“中学生”的“来杯下午茶”栏目所作的插图。文章介绍香港作家西西，提及西西的笔名，灵感来自小女孩玩跳房子的图形。本次风格与上期大相径庭，主要采用近来积极尝试的digital collage。

An illustration for an article in the next issue of "Majalah Pelajar"--my comprehension of the Malay language is terribly limited(I can count 1 to 5, 6 onwards not too sure), but gut feeling tells me it should mean "secondary student"; I guess it from the Chinese title, correct me if wrong.

freezes

2009-04-08T12:03:00.004+08:00

As the ancient moon shines

My only shadow

Freezes

By my side

白色的月光，白如霜；凝成幽暗的影，在身旁。

only

2009-04-07T11:44:00.005+08:00

It is when

the only companion you could find

is just

yourself

blooms

2009-04-06T09:17:00.005+08:00

Loneliness…

What could that be?

I'm now into creating digital collage mixing old photos and hand-rendered illustrations. It's a rather tedious and at times confusing process as compared to solely hand-drawing, involving digitally cutting out the required forms and shapes and creating layers upon layers meticulously till one loses track almost completely. It involves quite a bit of precision and lots of patience. But the exploration is definitely fun and worthwhile; one can start off with just a sketchy idea and end up with a final composition totally different. In other words, I'll never get to know exactly how my picture would look like, I'm in control and yet not so. Luck plays a crucial role in a way, depending largely on the raw materials (photos or other printed stuffs) you can find, and how these can mix-and -match together .To put it in a very Chinese way of saying: leave the decision to fate.

I just play along, making adjustment here and there, and let the picture blooms on its own. And that’s the most intriguing part of digital collage illustration.

错过

2009-04-02T11:44:00.005+08:00

她好像听到有人想跟她说话，但风一起，黄昏就更加冷了。

只好加快步伐，却也错过，身后百年的梨花，千年的莺啼。

随意找了一帧之前拍的照片，尝试用照片作画。背景为西湖雷峰塔。

到时

2009-04-02T09:33:00.000+08:00

上回帮学校图书馆弄了张教育海报，近来馆长再次邀约，为馆中即将开幕的新书刊媒体角落New Books & Media，画一幅壁画。构思概念全由他们提供，我纯粹根据要求作图。四月中的新学年，应该就会弄好。到时朋友若到访NP图书馆，记得留意入口处附近的小壁画！

原则

2009-04-01T10:15:00.000+08:00

结业典礼演出彩排，她和扮演蜜蜂的讨厌鬼对上。

“你是蝴蝶。”

“不是蝴蝶，是仙子！”

“明明就是蝴蝶！”

“蝴蝶不会绕着星星飞，仙子才会绕着星星飞！”

她赌气躲到后台角落，不是仙子就不上舞台。

“这—叫—原—则！”

魔爪

2009-03-30T12:21:00.003+08:00

她以为她听到细微的声音。她以为她看到晃动的影子在光圈边缘鬼祟。她以为黑暗的角落不是躲着蜘蛛，就是爬着壁虎。她以为自己陷入阴森破旧的古堡地窖。

“不许玩火！”

灯火忽然通明。妈妈站在房门口，硬生生砍断想象的魔爪。

新的tablet新的软件正式开张启用，还在适应当中，就胡乱画了一图。画了之后，就想写个故事，但也不知该写什么故事。

小聚

2009-03-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

星期天夜晚，和友人喝咖啡小聚归来，周末就这么过去。接连两天出席不同seminar。周六晨回校出席漫画与教学讲座，出席原因主要是协办商之一为wacom。我不画漫画，因为我没有一针见血的幽默喜感。选择走上illustration，只因绘制插图，可以贴近心绪，允许不言而喻的含蓄。一直在考虑更换使用两年多的wacom tablet，只是老拿不定主意，价格问题。到产品摊位一逛，心又动了。考虑了一晚，得知厂商在PS主办展卖会，今天一早就驱车赶往，与销售员详聊，最终决定购买。450元，当成为兴趣投资。之后下午往电力站支持好友金玉主持的分享会，听3名本地影视制片人的工作心得。我对电影行业是门外汉，旁听讲座，只当成与朋友小聚。

PS：图为本届毕业特刊内4幅插页中的其中一图。

纯粹

2009-03-27T18:36:00.002+08:00

这幅图之前已经上载过，是我帮大马中文月刊“中学生”其中一篇文章配的插图。今天收到编辑的电邮，邀我为下一期另一则文章作图，并附上排好版的上一幅作品，感觉还不错，颜色加深了些。其实我比较喜欢淡一点的色泽，没有特别理由，纯粹个人偏好。若有大马的朋友在这，希望你们多支持“中学生”月刊，也多给阿果的插图提意见。

Somewhere

2009-03-26T11:28:00.002+08:00

I'm going to write this blog in English though I know very well I'll need time to warm up to that language, not that I lack in proficiency but just that, it’s not the language that I would naturally and spontaneously use to process my thoughts nor I’m most at ease with. I know with the launch of Drax, there have been readers who are more prone to the English language start browsing through my blog, and I think it’s just been fair to “cater” to their needs and to express my gratitude to their support by using the language they are most comfortable with.

I received an email the other day from a lady which really made my day; at least it makes me see that my effort so far, however small, has begun to reap positive results. That lady came across Drax in a bookstore and was at once “captivated” (do allow me to use such a word even if it may sound a bit boastful) by my illustrations. She claimed to be in her “middle-age” but still on the spot bought a copy for herself. I replied her stressing that picture-books were meant not just for kids. And I’m definitely glad that my illustrations, together with Christy’s writing, are appealing to readers of all ages! Don’t be shy if you are a grown-up to feel attracted by picture-books; they can be simple in stories but profound in meanings. And the truth is I can safely say that all picture-books were created by adults after all! I always believe there’s a young kid within each of us, a certain part of our soul that represents the truthfulness, purity and simplicity in lives, attributes that no one can live without right to the old-age.

Picture-book has enjoyed long history and much attention in many countries except Singapore. I think it’s about time we do something about it. Are we lacking good writers and illustrators; or the market to support such industry? Maybe, but we have to start somewhere anyway, do we not? Drax is Christy’s and Candid Kids’ initiative, I’m proud to be part of it. If Drax has brought about happiness, warmth and fulfilment to your live please help to spread such wonderful feelings among your friends or anyone you cared. With your support, we can definitely look forward to more picture-books on Drax!

PS: the attached picture is one of the illustrations I did for our students' grad book.

雕塑

2009-03-25T08:30:00.000+08:00

那折叠木梯离奇出现在老树下，已经快一个月了。

只是一架普通的木梯，也没引起太多注意。

木梯一动也不动，老树一动也不动，任由影子，由长缩短再由短拉长。

路人偶尔感到好奇，成了茶余饭后的话题，然时日一久也就淡忘了。

久而久之，木梯与老树，构成遗忘的风景。

只是想画树，尝试画了，就顺带想一段文字。新加坡有的是树，林林总总的树，也许是太多了，反而视为理所当然。明明才见过，一回头却怎么样也记不起了。

上下

2009-03-24T08:03:00.001+08:00

Sunshine Tuition Centre躲在不见天日的防空壕里。放学后，她总得抱着补习课本，一级一极往下沉；补完习，她又一级一极飞快往上升。墙上可爱太阳，一会儿夕阳，一会儿朝阳。

注：新加坡新的市镇，组屋地底多设有防空壕。平时与其空置着，倒不如出租供商业用途。除了小型超市，应该也有补习中心吧？我那个年代已经很兴补习了，每回快到补习时间，心情总是非常非常地down。所以很小的时候，就学会什么叫：身不由己。

目送

2009-03-22T09:23:00.001+08:00

因为那支大提琴曲，我不能自拔恋上石久讓Joe Hisaishi的音乐。

Departures，本地译为“入殓师”，但我更喜欢国外所用的“送行者——礼仪师的乐章”。喜欢目送所蕴含的百感交集，喜欢礼仪所意味的尊严庄重，还有乐章，怎可忘了乐章的重要性？看着银幕上本木雅宏饰演的小林大悟在辽阔的乡野拉奏石久讓的创作，我立即想起伊势英子的水彩画绘本“1000把大提琴的合奏”。为了画小图，找出了英子的作品，静静翻着一页页淡淡的铅笔线条水彩着色，这恐怕最能符合我概念中的日本文化特质了：淡雅轻盈，近乎透明近乎不着痕迹，轻轻地提起轻轻地放下，轻轻地来轻轻地去，轻轻地只剩下最简约的本质，the bare essential，就算华丽也只是素雅而毫不喧哗的华丽，如庭园中的枯山水，只剩细石凝结的岁月波痕；水都死了，化成寂静的枯石。

枯寂，就是日本文化的精神，处处渗透禅意。漫天樱花，这一刻灿烂，下一刻随风轻轻飞逝，生与死在刹那间交错飞舞，点点悲喜，几许庄重。

人生惟有去芜存菁，才能看到生命的本来面目。

我不谙乐器，没有音乐细胞。大悟在彷徨时，重拾尘封已久的大提琴，背对着壮阔的远山，面向着无垠的田野，在冬日的阳光下，风中拉奏安抚心绪的旋律。我疗伤只能靠画画，只能靠文字。精神与物质构成完整生命，若迷失于物质的追逐，丧失了心灵的灌溉，人已算是死了一大半。年轻人需要文学的熏陶，才能找到宣泄情感的语言；其实人这一辈子，都需要精神上的牵引，牵引回归人文，回归人的本质，找回自己的生命，自己的价值。从倥偬的虚华都市，回归缓慢的乡野故居，那是影片中的一种metaphor，一种去芜存菁的仪式。正如大悟在桥上，苦思不解三文鱼为何每年逆流而上，回归当初孵化的上游浅滩，就算换来是必然的死亡，也要坚持。这就是精神上不可放弃的回归。每天目送接踵而来陌生人的死亡，大悟本能地回归大提琴的救赎，通过艺术寄情移情的力量，取得心灵的平衡。

拉奏琴弦成了梳理人生迷乱的仪式。艺术一旦专注，就是个人心灵的宗教。

死亡，原来每天都在我们身边进行着，只是看似事不关己，我们选择漠视。该如何给孩子解释死亡，就像如何向他们谈性一样，总是难以启齿，不容易找到恰当的切入。在众多绘本的题材当中，死亡已逐渐成了主旋律。书架上横七竖八堆满的绘本，应不下50来本，其中谈及生死的佳作，为数不少。绘本中的死亡，虽也染着淡淡的忧伤，却不可怕，总不忘注入缕缕温情丝丝希望。生死别离难免让人悲恸。放纵流泪，是一种情感的宣泄，没什么不对没什么不好。哭就是一种释怀。就如大悟以轻柔细致且庄严尊重近乎神圣的仪式，为往生者更衣上装，打点遗容完美纳棺上路，就是帮家属静静地整理内心对死亡的恐惧与悲怆，将索乱的思绪随着仪式化的每一步骤，获得牵引，寻得方向，升华成对已故亲人最本质的爱，忘了误解，忘了分歧，忘了怨怒，忘了距离，只记起最根本的亲情，目送上路。

原来入殓礼仪也成了大悟精神上另一门艺术，完美地仿佛拉奏大提琴曲，净化自己更升华他人心灵。

绘本是文与图的结合，以不做高深的艺术形式，还原生命中为人淡忘的感动，启发小孩领会人文的可贵，潜移默化中建立心灵的归宿，为孩子将来的人生，铺一条疗伤救赎的路。

多重

2009-03-20T08:33:00.000+08:00

哥哥说这些石头是小时候在河滩上用心拣回来的。

那时我只懂得呼呼大睡，老在他背上做太多太多的梦，压得他腰都挺不直。

“骗人，梦能有多重？”

哥哥只是笑着，将一枚一枚圆圆的石头放到我的手心。

忽然，我明白了，梦想原来可以多重。

钻进

2009-03-18T20:28:00.003+08:00

小小的创意斗室，大大的翱翔天地，填满秘密如漫天星星。

他喜欢钻进里头，把每天新的秘密，只告诉铅笔。

my creative room，由我的朋友影评人江金玉等人筹划出版，介绍20名在本地影视媒体努力耕耘的创意人。新书由媒体发展局资助，销售全数所得，将捐助新加坡电影节。本星期六下午3点，金玉与另一名作者周文龙（记者），将在page one举办一场分享会，主题为“我的创意写作”，希望所有朋友踊跃出席，并现场购买新书，支持所有本地创意人！阿果也会到场给他们加油打气！

等了

2009-03-17T15:25:00.001+08:00

空灵西湖，多少扁舟无声摆渡。寂寂寥寥烟雨寒风，载三五游人，满船因缘。

来到杭州，在开学典礼上，引了“百年修得同船渡”，那是最自然不过的。愿学生珍惜难得缘分，善用于浙江大学城市学院浸濡的机缘，认真学习。之后旁听第一堂课，通史讲师套我之语，另提了500年回眸换一次擦肩之说。释家因缘，禅门诗意，在婉约娟秀的江南，熏着水墨丹青的烟雨浪漫，微微沾湿了狮城学生青涩的感动，如宣纸上的一点淡墨，渐渐绽放缓缓化开，开成一朵懵懵懂懂隐隐约约的古典情思。

那是一种情感上美的启蒙。年轻就是需要诗文的熏陶，没了文学的滋润，满腔莫名的忧愁蠢蠢的浪漫，如何排遣如何宣泄？早春3月，杭州阴雨。料峭的学院，白色的玉兰与红色的山茶是阴霾中难得的春色。500年回眸不一定出自佛典，倒是诗人席慕容的“一棵开花的树”，注定要打动年少敏感的孤独。百年孤寂毕竟止于百年，东方言情，动辄前世今生百载千年；更有甚者，如汤显祖跨越生死樊篱，围绕牡丹亭旖旎春色萌芽的爱情，那超脱时间束缚摆脱生死纠缠的独特观念，是东方人方能领会的文化养分，成就席慕蓉笔下那棵在佛前求了500年的树，在那人必经的路痴心守候，用前世无数的期盼开成一树的花，只求在最美丽的时刻，与他偶遇。

活着，谁不痴？痴，到了一定程度，比孤寂更难释怀。

我想起美国Shel Silverstein 的经典绘本“The Giving Tree爱心树”。树喜欢上一个男孩，用落叶、枝干、果实、树阴带给男孩快乐。男孩成了男子，成了男人，成了老人，不断向树索取快乐，树也无怨无悔给予快乐。最后树只剩下老树墩，也要尽量挺直身子，让倦了的老人坐下歇息。And the tree was happy…这是书中一再出现的文字。

Shel画中的树，满足于无私的奉献无悔的给予；席慕蓉诗里的树，则是东方人对因缘心甘情愿的信念与坚守。东方人讲“修”，蕴含几多无以名状的清苦，等来的也许只是幽微而含蓄的无奈与落空。如此想来，谁又于心何忍，下回路经一株树、一朵花，不施与一刻全心全意的回眸？别忘了，它们或许皆守了500年，只盼来世换一回，灯火阑珊处那衣带渐宽终不悔的擦肩。

杭州某夜，冒着细雨寒风，看了“印象西湖”山水实景演出。一轮白月浮在湖面，一只白鹤悄然飞来，化成书生，撑一柄纸伞，打千年的典雅古韵信步踏来，每一微步一圈涟漪，随两旁烟柳墨影渺渺荡开，那是许仙，那是山伯，那也是手执柳条的柳梦梅。江南旖旎，西湖多情，孕育多少才子佳人的致死不渝？不知是山水成就了人情，抑或人情点染了山水？

或则是，一个缘字，成就了整个东方的文化情感。

不成比例的奉献，心甘情愿的苦修，没有所谓值或不值，就只有美丽而悲凉的痴。我想起韶关的那株香樟树，静静伫立南华禅寺450年。几年前的那一天，我来到树下，望着树身因岁月淘涤，都快化成坚硬的石。我悄悄抱着香樟树，也许这一瞬间的接触，树已等了450年。

日光

2009-03-15T20:38:00.004+08:00

早春乍暖还寒，数周绵雨，今日放晴。

他跑到河畔细细草坪，享受难得和煦春光。

摊开笔记本，曝晒文思，灵感如惊蛰的虫鸣鸟语；

合上双眼，无限春影，在眼帘欢跃。

这回到杭州，不巧冷空气来袭，连续多日阴冷多雨。当天气终于转晴，只见学院宿舍的阳台，整齐划一挂满一张张棉被，蔚为奇观。春日暖了湿冷情绪，在学院河畔银绿色的草坪，有人放起风筝，有人结伴絮语，有人独自翻书；一丛丛花树开始抽叶吐蕊，小孩挣脱妈妈双手，在花树间笑着跑着，追逐雀鸟。

看似理所当然的日光，这一刻在众人眼里，可以这么可爱。

终于

2009-03-14T12:20:00.006+08:00

终于！

苦等多时，我的第一本童书绘图作品出版了！

今早从出版社拿到成品时，可谓满心欢喜。印刷效果让人满意，文字排版下足心思。

希望所有支持阿果，支持本土创作的朋友，能到各大书局翻阅购买，同时也为作者Christy Lee-O'Loughlin表示鼓励！

童书作者还特地为此书设了网页，欢迎大家抽空浏览：

www.draxthedragon.com

喜欢这一版。

也喜欢这一版！

准备

2009-02-25T11:07:00.003+08:00

深呼吸

清一清思绪

做好准备

准备下一秒

开心

————————————————

明晚就要带学生出国，未来十来日，应该不会更新blog。

玩乐

2009-02-22T14:14:00.003+08:00

和朋友一块玩乐，我最开心。

新童书的画稿已经基本完成，能在短短2个多星期赶完全部30版，自己也感到非常了不起。

只不过，在下周五出国前，必须忙完许多琐碎的公务。到底有多忙？今天星期天我就是在学校度过的。苦笑。

正确

2009-02-20T08:30:00.002+08:00

原来我们都活在小心翼翼的状态中，包袱太重。拥抱原来也必须"politically correct"。

上回的小图，经要求，作了以上修改，可发现有何不同？

拥抱

2009-02-17T07:57:00.001+08:00

多久没好好拥抱了？

起舞

2009-02-13T14:02:00.001+08:00

就算没有什么特别的人特别的事，我会开心地跳起舞来。

PS：图不是配合佳节而创作，颜色与画意纯属凑巧，符合2月14的情境。借此顺祝所有“有情人”，快乐。

玩耍

2009-02-11T08:15:00.000+08:00

新童书中的另外两页。原本想法，是要文字在画面上跳舞，如弧形的微笑，飞扬的快乐。然基于出版社的统一要求，只能打横排版。

暖身

2009-02-09T08:43:00.002+08:00

正在着手画稿创作的新童书题为《我很高兴》。

文字简短，一幕幕与“高兴”相关的画面，任我发挥。

想画出不一样的感觉，希望尽快进入状况，尚在暖身阶段。

目前比较满意的，竟然是小主人翁的宠物猫。

有时候真的觉得，画“非人类”比较自由自在。

人，特难画。

高兴

2009-02-04T19:19:00.003+08:00

要开始另一本儿童书的画稿创作，这回的对象是6至8岁的小朋友，编辑要求：人物可爱，表情生动丰富，色彩缤纷。这本童书故事性不强，主要是通过想像，启发小朋友对“高兴”的意识，学习更好地控制情绪。画稿有不少抽象情景可自由发挥，颇具挑战，可惜得在本月底完成所有30版，压力不小。

这是草稿，人物形象未定，画风参考了我喜欢的法国插画家Martin Boutavant的特色，特此声明，不算抄袭（一笑）。

乱了

2009-02-02T22:44:00.003+08:00

休息多日，没动画笔，一时间竟然不知该如何起笔：忘了自己风格。真的，画画感觉如同患上分裂症，配合感觉寻找画风，在童话与散文间拉扯跳跃，在写实与仙境里来回奔走，时而画给孩童，时而画给成人，时而画给自己，画着画着，都乱了。

很快的，又得投入另一本儿童书的创作，又得重新调整自己的笔触，找回笔尖该有的绚烂与快乐。在那之前，先完成这幅小图，帮马来西亚董总《中学生》月刊某篇散文配图。编辑特地找了我的一则旧作，说要类似的风格。我画不出那时的风格了，那时的心境已经过去了。

“到底我们都过了那个狂欢倒数的年龄，与其看烟花灿烂，不如看世事无常。”

这是散文中的一句。题为《下一个方格》，作者纵展。我以略微生疏的笔触，画友情，画成长，画这一句，尽量。

活泼

2009-01-19T20:43:00.000+08:00

Let's SPRING into an "Ox"picious year

祝朋友们来年：牛气活泼，全年快活！

｜｜｜｜｜｜

财务顾问到学校找我，汇报半年来的投资状况。近来行情如何，心中有数。领他到山坡上新的冷气餐厅，坐在明亮的玻璃墙边，以平常心听他简报。相识7、8年，他为人如何虽谈不上深交，所知不多，但直觉他积极进取，可靠且尽责。我是理财白痴，只懂得储蓄，喜欢看着存折数额不断加大，观念始终停留在70、80年代。所以更需要能人协助，不求大富大贵，但求不为财忧。

自然，投资项目大体都亏了，所幸幅度不大。我要求简单，投资放长远眼光，坚持守候，将来如何，将来再说。和许多人相比，我幸运许多，没减薪没失业没投资失败没走投无路，夫复何求？忽想起去年底在海峡时报看过的一则专访，受访者是西方的佛门出家人，当时正直次贷危机巅峰，许多人为房子为投资为金钱人生近乎崩溃，出家人说他从来没有房子没有钱财，出国也只身披一件僧袍，携带又一件僧袍。人为何不时痛苦为何不时崩溃？还需要答案否？

当然，我并非出家人，无法超然以对俗世红尘，虽对物质要求不高，偶尔还是难把持物质欲念。所以，借牛年即将到来，画活泼小牛蹦蹦跳跳，愿世界牛气满乾坤，幸福喜盈门。

旋转

2009-01-17T12:00:00.001+08:00

每个人生存的方式不一样，生活的态度不一样，生命的旅程也不一样。但有没有发现，其实我们一直都在不知所以然地，只依循一套固定的程序安排自己的道路。这怪不得任何人，我们都是群体动物，自原始状态，都在为了生存与外界搏斗，我们需要安全感，多数人选择的方式，就算不尽理想，也还是条平坦的路，差不到哪里去。the road less travelled于是成了雾霭一般，缥缈轻轻悬在不远的前方，遮蔽着林子若隐若现，诱惑多少渴望冒险的心。

＊＊＊

我们培育得出渴望冒险的心灵吗？

o水准成绩放榜当天，学院委派讲师到不同中学，为考生指引升学道路。但我们指引的是什么路？我前往的是一所邻里中学，多数学生成绩一般；拿到成绩单时，不少人哭了，因为害怕了，因为茫然了，因为他们在那条众人前赴后继的平坦路上，狠狠摔了一跤，爬不起来，找不到方向。他们被常规抛弃，霎时，人生失去依据。而有些，怀着一腔的忐忑，紧紧握着差强人意的会考积分，慌张地在汪洋一般的课程当中，苦苦搜索可能施舍他们、同情他们、接纳他们的任何机会，象在拼命狂捉求生的浮板。只因整个社会，让他们以为自己已别无选择。

我们一生当中，得历经多少这样可怕的生死攸关？

＊＊＊

不久前，和两名高中老同学见面叙旧，先在植物园野姜花园咖啡座聊走黄昏，再转到demsey的ps cafe，坐在户外等暮色渐浓，望着葱郁的田园老树只剩模糊漆黑的剪影。那晚的夜空很亮，云朵分明。当年到英国攻读电影的bc，归国一直无正业，生活不富裕，但有方向。她之前因参与纪录片拍摄，见农场采用crop rotation谷物轮耕作业方式，有了启发：谷物轮替耕种，可避免耗尽农地养分；生活也应该不断的rotate，心灵才不会枯竭。rotate需要勇气、毅力，不断到陌生水域探视，不断往幽深林子冒险。

一回生命，该怎么走，要怎么走，自己要学着清楚，学着了解，这就是活着的意义：学会认识自己，完成自己。没有人逼你必须走平坦道路，凡事扪心自问：这就是我要的吗？

如果花一辈子很努力走，回过头才发现全是毫无意义的冤枉路，请不要叹息，请不要后悔，送自己一个微笑吧。就当成一场梦结束。

忘记

2009-01-13T20:52:00.013+08:00

我喜欢kevin kern的钢琴曲。每当听到fields of gold时，总会莫名地感动，不期然想起某些人事某些逝去的故事，自己平凡的人生故事，平凡当中唯有自己晓得的动情处。我们是自己故事的主角，需要一些感动自己的主题曲。每天都送走生命的一部分，化成层层记忆在人生日志本上慢慢累积。年少时每晚写日志是浪漫情怀，年长后坚持写日志者尚有几人？成长或许就是收集记忆的缓慢过程，一旦开始感受到记忆的重量，不知觉已走了许多的路，送走许多的风景，许多的人，许多的自己，所剩还有几许？

＊＊＊

fields of gold原为sting的创作。先接触kevin kern的钢琴演绎，后又无意中找到eva cassidy演唱的版本。就歌词而论，eva改了一句，更提升歌曲的人文情怀。many years have passed since those summer days/among the fields of barley/see the children run as the sun goes down/as you lie in fields of gold.eva改动的就是最后一句。lie让我想起长眠，想起永别。时间是流逝的日日月月年年，记忆停留在当时美好的灿烂夏天，当时携手走过的金黄稻田，而今回荡着孩童的欢快，孩童不知岁月何物，而你已走入岁月，成了岁月。人是奇怪的动物，我们懂得将心比心，懂得感同身受，情感上总有无须言明的共通处。这就是人文的关怀，因为我们在岁月、在命运、在生死跟前，同样无能为力。

我在几天前才从网上接触eva的歌曲，平静舒缓地唱着fields of gold。其实那已是1996年前的录音了。一把如此干净无争的嗓音，却因喉癌而在1996年成了绝响。33岁就躺入黄金稻田，12年后，换来我在这端遥想她曾经的夏天。

＊＊＊

画小图时，耳机重复播放eric clapton的tears in heaven。一名父亲为4岁意外过世的孩子创作的歌曲。would you know my name/if i saw you in heaven/would it be the same/if i saw you in heaven. 有一天，当我们终于走完所有的路，辛辛苦苦收集的记忆，是不是都该放下，然后就忘记了曾经刻骨铭心的某些名字，某些故事，以及所有的自己？

照亮

2009-01-12T07:50:00.003+08:00

09年踏入第12天，直觉告诉我：诸事不顺。当然并非大逆转，但就是小事小处，似乎总是事与愿违。或许由于开学了，又得重新每天一大清早受困恼人交通，弄得心绪格外紧张，无法静下心来，连带精神涣散，灵感荡然，没了动力。或许又不是，世事成因往往并非单一，错综复杂的因素相互作用，至于具体为何，只能说：理还乱。有些人直觉特别敏锐，心思过度细腻，如我，最容易落入胡思乱想的死胡同。我知道自己在死胡同里，我知道自己必能爬出来，只是迟早问题。

上周学院开放日，来了不少的年轻小朋友，战战兢兢前来为自己的将来，寻找梦想的踏脚石。有些信心满满，有些茫然。他们年纪相仿，际遇截然。象他们这样的年纪，就得为人生做决定，必定不容易。我们这些讲师，仿佛都成了行销人员，一心只想兜售课程，为学院争取收生；但隐隐约约的，我又觉得，他们其实渴望的，是有人指引方向，心灵的方向，抉择的方向，希望的方向。在教育这一行一年有余，我不晓得自己对教育了解多少。回想自己年少时，总希望有人告诉我，下一步该怎么走。但我等不到那个人的出现。很多人都是在误打误撞中，走过来的。如果教育是一盘生意，收生人数是业绩，我很怀疑有多少执教者，还怀抱教育的使命？上周，每当我满怀歉意，告诉某些小朋友，他们的成绩“没资格”报读学院课程时，我都在粉碎一个个脆弱的梦想。看着他们转过身去，茫茫的人生才刚启程；我只能希望旅途上，至少能有个人给他们点一盏灯，照亮一个希望。

当宝

2009-01-08T09:05:00.003+08:00

去年，哦不，应该是前年年底，到台北旅游时，在电视上看到一则很优美的广告，卖的是SonyBravia，主题为：美丽心台湾，精彩再发现。令我难忘的是广告歌曲，轻轻柔柔的女声，简简单单的吟唱，应该是台湾山地民族的歌谣。这则广告，让我想起多年前非常棒的Sony Handycam广告，由Urna乌仁娜演唱的蒙古歌谣，简直是天籁了。事隔一年，没想到无心插柳，竟然在网络上找到这则广告，将之收藏，当宝！

对的

2009-01-06T08:16:00.007+08:00

《转山——边境流浪者》的作者谢旺霖这样说着：

流浪是为了看看这个世界，能不能用自己希望的方式生活。

支持“流浪者计划”，协助作者完成梦想的云门舞集创办人林怀民这样说着：

年轻的流浪是一生的养分。

这本书没看过，想看。因为我们心里都有一套自己希望的生活方式，一套对自己而言才是对的生活方式。然这样美好的生活方式，总似梦想一般，停留在梦想。日常的繁琐让人困顿，到了夜里没有人的漆黑角落，才有勇气掏出梦想，生一团微弱的火光，温一温枯竭的呼吸。多少人不是如此？夜里陶醉对的梦境，隔天醒来，也只能朝众人的身影靠去，湮没在找不到自己的五光十色里。

——草草完成于学校新餐厅周三晨

不见

2009-01-05T08:08:00.003+08:00

看见看不见的，听见听不见的。

痴人心中

天地无垠

逻辑

2009-01-02T16:40:00.002+08:00

别问我为何画这样的小图。有时候画什么也没有逻辑可言。只是觉得有点不顺。先是身体微恙，或许是近来吃太多花生酱，热出了感冒，拼命喝着感冒凉茶；再来今早出门办点公事，大老远从住家赶到女皇镇，停好车子，才发现最重要的文件忘了带，只好兜回家再赶下来；最后，办完事情，按行程是到住家楼下提款机提取家用。其中一台失灵，另一台有人龙。轮到我时，按了密码、数目，提款机才显示：机内只剩40元。

虽然诸事不顺，对我情绪倒没太大影响。我双眼干涩，周身乏力，只想昏睡，根本没力气烦恼。

角度

2008-12-31T11:11:00.000+08:00

学校新开的餐厅在山丘上，四面皆玻璃墙，格局宽敞。择一角落，挨着玻璃墙，在清静的清晨，一杯南洋咖啡乌的平凡。平凡的动人处，就在于自然，在于舒坦，在于随遇而安。校园颇具历史，建筑老旧欠缺特色，虽有人文系、传媒系，却不见供人挥霍闲情、静思清谈、阅读灵感、激荡巧思，或细数时光随落叶零零落落飞散的，人文的咖啡座，的确是小小的遗憾。而今有了新餐厅。有了明亮的玻璃墙，还有墙外无声的景致，充沛流泻的阳光，能否激发更多年轻学子的丰沛情思？

换了个角度，校园还是怡人的。平时不觉得出彩的树木，忽而都格外翠绿。忽见野松鼠在枝干窜越，轻巧地点着时间的拍子，一溜烟消失，整个早晨骤然就清新愉快了。

－－完成于08年最后清晨，于校园新餐厅

担子

2008-12-30T17:36:00.012+08:00

这年头，谁肩上没有担子？

有人老烦恼担子的重量，担忧体力不足，撑不到前方。
有人积极乐观，担子越重，越视为挑战。

有人只是默默走着，沿途不忘欣赏小风景，学着苦中作乐。
当然，也有人干脆放下，逍遥无影踪。

潇洒放下，自认无法办到，只好继续背着自讨苦吃的大大小小担子，迈入2009；生来积极非我本性，进取心更谈不上，注定成就不了远大事业；我一无是处，幸好心思还算细腻，喜欢沿途小风小景。2009路程如何，走了才知；有重量才叫担子，既然得背着，就将重量放在肩上，别压在心里。祝各位，2009顺利幸福。

卷起

2008-12-28T22:32:00.003+08:00

吹开、卷起⋯吹开、卷起⋯吹开、卷

起⋯⋯

是我在搓揉时间

或是

岁月在揉搓我？

还有一周就要开课了，几份作业卷纸有待批改。今日特地往碧雅士上段公园，在宁静的大自然中，风中凌乱的树阴下，让自己静下心来，专注赶批作业。数量过多，看来还得忙上几天。希望2009元旦前夕，能完成一切，让自己轻轻松松弃旧迎新。密封人仅是游戏之作，非出版计划。

打开

2008-12-26T17:09:00.002+08:00

忘了从哪儿看到这样一句话：心就象是一把降落伞，注定就是要打开的。

具体的说法记不全了，大概就是这样吧？觉得挺有意思，与大家分享。

安乐

2008-12-24T16:52:00.002+08:00

小图是自制的所谓电子贺卡，发给一些同事朋友，祝贺圣诞快乐。熊猫近来风头很劲，团团圆圆从四川卧龙远渡台北木栅，忙得周遭里里外外大人小孩随之起舞，团团转。看来没有一种动物，比熊猫更具威力、魅力、吸引力。画熊猫绝非为了“应景”，纯粹乃熊猫为学院的吉祥物，发给同事的贺卡，以之为主角，刚好恰当。借小图，祝朋友们：佳节幸福安乐！

单纯

2008-12-21T17:41:00.003+08:00

今天算是将“海马爸爸”的全部首稿完成了，现下就是根据编辑的要求修改。过去一周，几乎每天都在作画，有时太过投入专注，无形中会将笔握得太紧，长时间下来，手指酸痛。海马是奇特的水族，怀孕生产，全由海马爸爸代劳。以上是昨天完成的海马宝宝出生小图，当初构思海马造型相当痛苦，但画海马宝宝时，一画就定。画小动物（包括小孩子），记住一点：在比例上头定要比身体大。圆圆的头，大大地眼珠，小小的身子，肯定错不了。

今早又跑到Kino，结果又花了百多元买了不少书本，大部分是图画书。图画书都不便宜，但碰到插图精美用心，依然还是爱不释手。真的，不少图画书简直就是艺术品。上回提到了澳洲华裔Shuan Tan，他以精细的素描，大手笔完成所谓的picture novel “The Arrival”，一鸣惊人。的确得佩服他的画功与细心。他的童书作品，其实更适合成人欣赏。

今天想介绍另一位我非常欣赏的日本插画家伊势英子。当初接触“1000把大提琴的合奏”，立即有“惊艳”的感觉。铅笔的素描佐以谈雅的水彩，每一幅均是艺术作品，可登大雅之堂。上周在Kino买了她创作的“画之旅”，图无懈可击，然文字也许翻译之故，有些零散，似乎失去些许原文应有的韵味（可惜我不懂日文）；今天则找到“书的手艺人”，还没详阅，单看图，就惊叹于作者/画者的用心。她很显然做了许多功课，画面的欧洲街道、店铺、装订机器，还有书本装订工序，画得非常详尽，几乎成了记录性质的图画故事书。

童书真的不只是供儿童阅读的；童书结合了文字与图画之美，让任何人在烦琐的日常中，均可汲取点滴美的感动。翻阅童书，情感会不自觉地单纯起来，单纯地笑了，单纯地感动了，单纯地领悟了，单纯地幸福了。

期待

2008-12-14T14:13:00.002+08:00

出席由Singapore Book Council举办的Picture Book Forum，为配合First Time Writers & Illustrators Publishing Initiative而设，受邀演讲为澳洲童书作者与绘者各一名。演讲内容倒没什么格外精彩，分享的心得算是一般，倒是出席者之众，出乎意料之外。放眼略计，应不下200人，甚至更多。同行的同事就说：没想到对童书创作感兴趣的国人这么多。当然，出席者当中，不少是欧美妇女，有钱有闲，更有一份雅致，让我想起新书作者南非籍太太。

国外童书创作出版百花齐放，绘者画风林林总总，让人惊叹。演讲者主要介绍澳洲本土的创作，其中近期大名鼎鼎的Shuan Tan的确让人刮目。他的格调与笔触，感性富含哲思，喜欢几米的朋友，肯定喜欢Shuan Tan。个人最喜欢他的The Red Tree，本地书局有售，然价格不低。另外一位绘者Ann James，对她所知不多，或许上网应该可以找到资料。

First Time Writers & Illustrators 活动还未决定是否要参加。因为得用英语创作（英语永远是我的心结，不得不承认），而且不知时间配合得来吗？忙完“海马爸爸”，就得开始“小野鼠”的工作（当然还得应付正业，全职投入绘本创作始终为多情者的浪漫理想）。无论参加与否，还是衷心希望新加坡的绘本，能尽快引起国际关注。我们不缺人才，我们欠缺的是环境、制度与产业。现实如何去改变，机会如何去争取，也许不是你我说了算，但有期待总是美好的。希望所有默默致力创作的朋友，继续加油。

“海马爸爸”的绘图开始找到感觉了。附上刚完成的海马翩翩起舞求偶图。

不对

2008-12-10T11:35:00.009+08:00

昨天下了班与出版社编辑及新书作者面谈。南非籍作者来新一年，小女儿怀念家乡辽阔农场，特地创作小野鼠的童书，送给她们。她为人随和，但对书中的小狗、小女孩及景色风貌，有特定想法。我对南非所知不多。作者熟悉的一切，与我完全陌生，毫无概念。她在家乡除了养狗，还养了几匹马，来新闲暇学画油画，近日忙筹办女儿学校佳节欢庆活动。她的世界，无论在南非或狮城，都离我甚远。

30多页的童书我接下了。但得等到下个月才能开工。目前还得忙手头上的这本。搁置多日，是该开始的，但总闲不下心来。作图最痛苦是起步阶段，构思画风、造型最难，有时一画就对了，有时一再修改，总不满意。

就如这本，有关海马的儿童教育读本，怎么画都画不出想要的感觉。甚至，想要怎样的感觉，都没个谱。那才最痛苦。

月底得赶完，看来又得闭关一阵了。
（上图是之前画的，编辑觉得海马太卡通了，右图时几天前画的，但感觉还是不对。）

有鱼

2008-12-06T20:33:00.004+08:00

仔细算来，离农历新年还不到两个月。奇怪的是，虽已经12月，然周遭佳节气氛根本热不起来。今天花了大半时间，帮电台前同事赶画红包封。11名DJ，保留照片头像，身体改为漫画造型。由于还未加工，所以群体图成了无头画，感觉怪怪的。特地将其中一名DJ的单人小图附于此，小图添有头像素描，看起来比较“正常”。

距离

2008-12-05T10:33:00.001+08:00

有的时候，再怎么努力，指尖始终碰不到脚尖；

距离再小，始终还是距离。

无声

2008-12-03T09:28:00.003+08:00

昨天上载了下图，才察觉手的部分画错了。特此修正。

远方的烟火，无声的欢腾

天地空寂

_____________________

在某本图集看到类似的画面，某人在高处，遥望远方的烟火。烟火在空谷中无声爆发，那方城镇很欢腾，这方天地很空寂。

开口

2008-12-01T09:33:00.003+08:00

有的时候，就是不想开口说话，什么理由都好。

_____________________

周六一大早就和老同学们小聚，从法式自助早餐吃到北印度香料午餐再到小印度某街角的古老咖啡店喝茶。间中开车兜到滨海湾低坝凑热闹，结果真是热得快中暑。都年底了，还如此酷热。在古老咖啡店闲聊的感觉不错。我们都喜欢历经岁月洗礼的所在，蒙蒙灰尘，多了一丝历史的厚重，但又不太沉重，很草根很随性，有一种自然而然的生命气息。

生命力有一股很奇妙的魅力。越是顽强，越是引人遐想。人总期望自己更顽强一些，如同古希腊神话中同命运作战的悲剧英雄，就算战败了，虽败犹荣。这是一种浪漫的心态，毕竟大多数人的一生，不外是平淡如水。

我们聊起本地一些搞艺术略有名气的某号人物，他们在接受采访时，总会拼凑一幅曾经为艺术牺牲，潦倒度日，最终凭本事熬出头来的动人情节。但奇怪的是，他们却不谈自己的家境背景，当他人都在挤公车时，他们开车上学；当他人都在为生活必需务实选科时，他们却能无忧无虑出国攻读电影艺术。他们所谓的潦倒，不过是经过浪漫上色的苦闷。不曾真正潦倒过，反而莫名地渴望潦倒一回，仿佛潦倒是艺术境界的成年礼，没跨过去，不成人物。

说来好笑，年轻时往往感到怀才不遇，空有满腔抱负，无奈不见伯乐。年少时浪漫一回还是可以的；成年了决意朝梦想奋斗，若依然眷念“美化”的潦倒神话，就未免幼稚得可笑了。

历经千帆者，不会以潦倒装饰门面。况且在新加坡，能潦到哪里去？搞艺术的那一票人，始终过不了“无病呻吟”的那一关。

分裂

2008-11-27T08:46:00.002+08:00

有的时候，莫名其妙变得很积极，踩着青云大步迈进；

才眨眼功夫，又打回原形，缩成一团任乌云压顶……

魔术

2008-11-25T15:16:00.003+08:00

不知吃错什么东西，也许是前晚的chendol，昨日感觉不对劲儿，肚子老是胀风，身体微烫，入夜辗转难眠，些许发烧。今日胃还是不舒服。然情况改善许多。

有一事却值得欣喜。昨日下了班，约出版社编辑见面，她准备了些参考书，方便我为新图画书作准备。不想她还特地将“想念奶奶”的FA打印出来，效果非常不错，看着自己的心血完美呈现，感觉真好。

我们其实都会变魔术，每一双手都能耍出自己在行的把戏。我不善音律，指尖奏不出醉人音符；我不善球技，指掌不善扣杀灌篮；我不善IT，飞快的十指编写不出复杂的程序；我们不一定得什么都会；但我们必须知道自己的魔法在哪里。

我绝对不是完人，我希望通过自己的画笔，变出还算完美的世界。

散播

2008-11-24T08:38:00.002+08:00

趁还没开始为另一本图画书作图前，给自己一点空间，喘口气，画些随性随意的小图。随性随意，行笔逍遥，无须交代，无须rationalise。画什么就是什么。美，本就抽象，无须刻意说明。

好些学生要我开班授课。我总是推谢。除了中学上过四年特选美术班，就不曾正式“学”过绘画。我会“画”，却不一定懂得教。画画，重在陶冶性情，安抚情绪，是一种本能，不要强视为技能。我坚信：谁都能画。画画，不在于好坏，不在于美丑，而在于开心。画画的根本目的，是让自己开心；自己画得开心，画才能让他人开心。

不懂得教，但还是可以分享心得。有某校老师有意请我给学生谈作画聊作文，时间配合得来，自当乐意。

我也许当不成美术老师，我宁愿抛砖引玉，在岛国散播美的小小种子。

美好

2008-11-21T21:06:00.002+08:00

一

多时没认真更新部落格。时不时总有新知旧雨过来探访，没新作款待，倍感内疚。自从开始童书绘图工作，为他人文字作图，反渐少为自己动笔了。为他人是履行责任，为自己才是随心所欲。

刚完成第九年的回营受训。眨眼已是九年。间中，有人调离了，有人退役了，有人出国了，也有人，过世了。那天在同样的营区，仿佛还是昨天的事，想起九年前的、八年前的、七年、六年、五年…去年的我们。明年最后一次受训，有些同僚已达退役年龄，将不会出席。不再每年见一回，也许也就不再见面了。其实没什么大不了的；其实还是有股难以言怀的感伤。

感伤是人类珍贵的特质。纵使多么粗枝大叶，内心始终不缺纤细的感伤因子。这就是文艺的种子。

二

每次回营军训前，都有股强烈渴望自由的迫切感。着上戎装，踏入营区，似乎就踏入隔离境界，与日常分隔，与自由分隔，隔着岸回看平时一切，一些最微不足道的事物，竟成了最美好的向往。例如，以往服役时，总很莫名地渴望周末外出吃红豆冰。

什么是渴望？还记得外公过世前，在医院忽然向妈妈讨葡萄吃。那时候外公想念的，是葡萄的滋味，或是其他？当我们拥有无限的时候，我们也最糊涂，不知道自己真正渴望什么。到了别无选择，才开始明白渴望的苦楚。

我喜欢周末午后，趴在房间地板，对着风扇假寐。地板很冰，风很凉，什么也不做，什么也不想。那一刻是“没有”的一刻，没有工作，没有约会，没有计划，没有烦恼，没有牵挂，没有杂念。“没有”，让很多原本很紧要的事物，忽然都不紧要了。一层又一层，将缠绕思绪的外物剥开，找回最简单的一碗红豆冰，找回真正渴望的美好向往。

匆匆

2008-11-15T11:16:00.002+08:00

这是今早匆匆完成的一幅demo图，出版社要求打个草稿让作者过目。故事背景是南非的乡野，叙述小野鼠离乡背井的历险记。还在等出版社安排同作者见面详谈。是否为此书作图，尚未定案。

迷路六：分身

2008-11-15T08:02:00.003+08:00

既然分身乏术

何不

忠于迷路？

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现代人喜欢同一时间，做许多杂事，以为自己成就了许多，实则一件都没认真做好。Multi-tasking说穿了，不也是一种虚荣？

古时候的工匠师傅，花一辈子编草席、烧陶、篆刻、裁缝，看似无趣空洞，至少用了一生，换来一种确确实实的认真。