sanity

在整整三十分钟里，他们没有任何言语交流。就是彼此默默坐着，靠得很近。

生命在静默中进行着。

静默，仿佛一首幽微的歌。

Sometimes it just seems so hard to write or to draw anymore, when the mood for anything aesthetic or delicate or tenuous or subtle is lost amidst all things mundane. That’s the dilemma we are facing, to live life or to live the life we want. When bread and butter can no longer satisfy and rationalise our very existence in this world, we naturally turn to other means to actualise ourselves. But the quest for self actualisation can never be done without bread and butter; it’s a luxury in most societies, especially ours, never a necessity. No one can stop you to be a dreamer, but you know very well, even dreams can only be weaved, in the most ironical sense, realistically.

I have not been able to keep my mind calm ever since the start of school term. A disturbed mind is like a pond wrinkled with troubled water, slashing reality into a reflection of chaotic fragments, sapping away my energy and hunger for any creative pursue. I dislike such feeling but unfortunately such is the way people like us have to live. But I know, if I do not force myself from time to time to reflect upon my inner thoughts through words or drawings, I will be lost forever in the labyrinth of reality, leading to the dead of one’s conscious mind. That’s the only way to preserve my sanity.