结束

明天开课了。校园短暂的清幽即将结束。学校不可能老是放假，开课才是常规，但我就是不正常。吵杂的校园，繁琐的职务，只会吞噬我的脑细胞。还得忍耐数个星期。

Today is the last day of the short term break; our campus will be back to its usual buzz and bustle very soon, like an orchestra of noise that goes haywire, as if the recent extremely hot weather is not torturing enough. How I’m going to miss the peace and serenity that filled every little corner of the campus in the past 2 weeks, with rays of morning sun quietly sieving through branches and leaves, caressing the emerald lawns where not a single soul of rowdy, unappreciative and insensitive teens is to be seen but only tiny grasshoppers and one or two occasional squirrels. I can forget about smooth traffic on my way to office, relaxing breakfast over a morning paper in the spacious canteen, and a library that is like a library.

PS: I can't help but keep wandering, is my stats counter painting a true picture? Are there really so many visitors hitting my blog everyday? Whoever you are, I hope whatever I've posted up here have done its part in making your day. Thanks for dropping by.

其实我挺怀疑，每天真的有那么多人点击我的部落格？谢谢你们的支持，希望我的作品，带给大家些许满足。

moonwalk

This picture was not drawn especially for what I'm going to write or for him. As a matter of fact, I've done it weeks ago as a trail piece with no intention to post or share, the roughness and sketchiness says it quite obviously. It is all pure coincident that I find it a suitable illustration to complement my thoughts at this moment. The dancing moves, the huge moon, the larger-than –life look and the background of a fairytale land, though at time of drawing I’d no story to it, but now it all seem to reflect that particular figure that created his Never-land. I’m never a frantic fan of his, not even an ordinary one. Of course, I’m aware of his existence and have heard of his songs and seen his dancing on MTV. Who doesn’t? The news of MJ’s death which I heard this morning did not shock me that much, instead it brought about a tinge of sadness for to me, it spells the gradual end of a generation, the generation that grew up in the 70s and 80s. It’s an indication that another piece of our youth is gone forever, vanished into the thin air, never to be retrieved. How much time have we left? Once we thought we had plenty, in fact we used to have so much of it that time was never an issue at all. But now, it seems time can just end anytime on us, we are no longer at the beginning of our journey, how much further will we go or can we travel, no one knows. Only time will decide.

到月球上漫步，在皎月下劲舞，当一切成了过往，才发觉青春已逝，时间如手中流沙，指缝间滴漏。小图是先前习作，本无意发表，然发觉与此时心情相符，尚可勉强可用之。今早听闻MJ猝死的消息，并无太大反应，仅有一丝忧伤。我非MJ歌迷，不为他痴狂，但在我成长岁月中，他是时代不可抹杀的代表。他的辞世，无形中意味一个时代的结束。我们这一代，离青春渐远，可挥霍的光阴无几。当我们必须认老时，那个过程是悄然而至的，不动声色就夺走青春；当我们还眷念曾经的流行时，那流行已流逝殆尽。我们被时间推着走，不知还可走多远多久；我们被时间推着走，真的是，蓦然回首早已白了头。

goes on

骨头硬了，弯不动身子

亮丽的棒棒糖是甜滋滋的回忆

就在不远处

却碰不着了

My friends asked had I gotten over with my anger and depression and I answered more or less yes. I would not say I do not harbour anymore negative feelings towards the unfair treatment but I am very sure my mood at this very moment is feeling more hopeful than hateful for I am still going forward after a meaningful purpose and nothing, even without the help of the authority, can dampen my spirit or put a stop to it. I was watching a Taiwan documentary on you-tube which featured the story of a certain young lady who, most unfortunately, suffered from very serious burn covering almost 70% of her body. Though she managed to escape death but for the past 3 years, she had to learn to live with her almost-fatal injury and permanent facial disfigurement, not to mention the collapse of a successful life she took years to build. She pulled through with lots of courage and of course optimism. There are people who dwell on negative thoughts once faced with setbacks, get themselves forever trapped and thus end their lives most likely in bleak sorrows. And there are others who are wise enough to accept reality and with acceptance they free themselves from the viscous cycle of endless suffering. There is no guarantee a smooth sailing in life for anyone, setbacks and reverses of different magnitude sadly to say are unavoidable. We can’t determine our fate but we can definitely alter our attitude towards life. I like the little story that lady related in the documentary. She said once her mother broke a cup and was brooding over such a trivial incident day in and out, so she told her mother: nothing is forever, all things has to come to an end eventually. Why become upset over a broken cup? It is not worth it at all to have one’s mood adversely affected by something so insignificant. In fact, nothing is of any significance so long you are able to let it go. To feel bad initially is natural, but allowing the bad feeling to cling on or worst, drag on for days and months and years would be quite foolish.

Life still goes on no matter what happens, and to be exact, in one definite direction and that is, forward. If we are to put it rather ominously, we are actually dying a little by a little every moment of our life, we age, and we deteriorate, and sooner or later we would reach a point whereby we would have to leave all things behind, be it glories, pride, regrets or agonies. As long as we are alive, we have to look forward; life is not that difficult, it’s just as simple as that.

火

满肚子火

但火了一阵子之后

又不火了

my friend said I was not shortlisted due to my age, it's pointless for the authority to spend time and money nurturing someone no longer in his twenties or early thirties. It make no sense from an investment point of view. Moreover the category I opt is not as high profile as animation or film making. Given my academic credential and creative talents, I see no reasons why I was not even given a chance for interview. If my friend was correct, then I could only say I'm utterly disgusted with the authority for its hidden agenda and different forms of discrimination.

我甚少表露自负

但我必须强调：我有条件自负

弃这等人才不顾，只能怪当局走宝

有关当局，目光如豆

ok, back to my normal self, no longer pissed off.

丧

Pisces feeds on depression. 

I'm depressed, sort of, and I think it's natural since I'm a pisces--I'm just more prone to mood indulgence that's all; I'll definitely get over it I know, just a matter of how soon. Drawing this little picture does help I suppose. A fish out of water, a rough sea, a helpless face. My unsettled feeling seems to get iron out with every stroke of the brush; just like meditation, drawing helps me to keep focus. A focused mind is what I need now.

沮丧，来袭。

我早已习惯自己时而莫名其妙的情绪低潮。仿佛脱水的鱼，咧嘴成了干尸。无助的脸孔，纵使有心搭救，亦是无能为力。天地汹涌暗潮。过于在乎，难免连带失落。更或是，我不服气的自负，让我难咽一口闷气。让心静，方能通明。草草画此小图，重拾自信，让心随每一笔的梳理，回归平静。