warmth

The only warmth you feel

Comes from the

Handshake

With yourself

留一点温度

给自己

在极端的静寂中

你与身影

不离不弃

I think I'm suffering from Demophobia, or to use an even more bombastic term if that's not scary enough-- Enochiophobia. Well, it definitely means I'm having a certain type of phobia, but what could that be exactly? To put it more simply, I'm having a fear of crowd. I'll feel uneasy and insecure and even suffocating whenever I need to squeeze my way through a huge crowd and a place flooded with strangers just give me terrible headache. I hate crowded place, the ear-piercing noise, the mind-numbing shadows, the unbearable heat of human bodies shuffling and rubbing against one another, I would definitely blank out if don’t find my way out in time. That’s why I dislike new school term, when the whole campus is over-run by energetic students, and the quiet air-con foodcourt which used to be my favourite hangout is brutally turned into a wet market, flooded with saliva and sweat. But what can I do? This is only the very first day of the semester, there’re still 4 more months to go before the next long break.

But it’s not surprising that I’m having crowd phobia. Come to think of it, it’s no wonder that most of my illustrations seldom feature more than a lonesome soul. I think that’s the real me, I’ve subconsciously expressed my yielding in my drawings, or even my words. Seriously, I would rather embrace my own shadow than to be drowned in a sea of strangers.